We went to the movies tonight. I asked for tickets to “Shoot Em Up,” the girl in the box office gave me tickets to “Superbad.” I should have taken the hint. “Shoot Em Up” was terrible. I was bored in the first five minutes.

On the other hand, we saw “Superbad,” last weekend. It was foul-mouthed, hilarious, and sweet. Seeing it again would have been a much better way to spend our evening.

Instead, I feel dirty. “Shoot Em Up,” was soul-killingly stupid bullshit. I want to take the jaded 17 to 25 year old male morons it was designed to appeal to and beat them with an overgrown zucchini. Or I would if any of them had actually wasted the tip money from their job at Domino’s on the thing. The huge auditorium they showed the movie in was pretty much empty, and at least half the audience were people over 30 who are now no doubt questioning Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti latest career choices.

You have been warned.