I have long viewed Paris Hilton as waste of skin. I regret the synapses in my brain that register her existance. I alternate between pity and disgust to see her now (or ever) as she goes to jail over and over.

Like so many celebrities, she is a human sacrifice. The sacrificial virgin with the stolen sex tape. Bloodless blood sport. May her tears bring the rains and the grains, may her cries call the beasts to bloody ambush, may she wither so that our children grow strong.